Intersecting Stories

So I met a guy in 1997 named Ben.

Ben was married to a nice girl who had a nice sister dating a friend of mine.  That sister, who I knew mostly through my friend, has gone on with her life--and so has he.  They are both married to other people now.  But that is not the point.

Ben posted on his facebook account tonight a link to an upcoming episode on the Dr. Phil show.  The story of his wife's sister is going to be aired this Wednesday.  I was intrigued and checked it out.  

He also posted this site:  prayforkate.com

Now I'm heavy.

Their story is familiar...

Beautiful girl.

Healthy and Vibrant.

Concerned parents because something physically was not right.

Doctors.

Hospital.

Tests.

Brain Tumor.

I know there will always be stories that intersect ours.  I know it.  I know it.

But it it stunning.

As God provides space in your prayer life, would you join me in praying for Kate and her family?

Through words...

Through my own spoken words on Sunday mornings I'm working out (strike that), working ON my questions and grief and faith. At this point there are many lingering questions but when I enter the pages of Scripture I can't help but see how God takes the pain and loss and impossibilities of life and does something...something that makes sense to him.

I've preached about God's narrative before. In fact, it was the focus of Advent at our church last year. NT Wright has some great insight on that here.

But Annie's death is forcing me to take God's story more serious than I believe I ever have.

Rewind a bit.

It was just a handful of days after Annie was born that we went with some friends to hear Rob Bell on his Drops Like Stars Tour. We thought it was be "so good" for our friends. The theme he would be delving into was How does Suffering impact Creativity--how does God use Suffering/Loss for something remarkable? We thought it would be good for our friends who have a great boy that lives with cerebral palsy. (Just a little fact: he's my greatest fan on Sunday mornings because I play a guitar!)

I know it was good for our friends--they've told me so. But never did I envision how I'd be reflecting back on that evening. As the sculptor, God must now take the bar of soap which is my life and create something beautiful out of it. That's what sculptors do. In fact that's what story writers do--create where creation seems uncreate-able.

(*pictures from Drops Likes Stars book)

I believe God is setting the stage for something remarkable through the setbacks of my life.
I believe the same for you.

If you are reading this and wondering if God is able to do this for you, check out a few incredible people from the Scriptures:

• Joseph (betrayal, slavery, power, imprisoned, power, choice to forgive)
• David (Goliath, Saul, adultery, forgiveness, Psalm writer)
• Daniel (exile, brilliance, pressure to worship another god, lion's den, miracle, prophecy & visions)
• Joshua (particularly the 10th chapter of Joshua)
• Legion (Mark 5)
• Jesus' disciples following his arrest, crucifixion and resurrection (went from fear to world changers)
• Paul (2 Corinthians 11:21-12:10)

The iconic photographer Ansel Adams said, "A good photograph is knowing where to stand."
Ephesians 6 exhorts, "Stand...and after you have done everything, to stand."

God is calling us to Stand. From that position the view will be remarkable.

8 minutes of beauty

A good friend created this collection of pictures of our girl.  As you view, it is OK to have thoughts like, "Wow, she's beautiful."  Or, "Look how much she was loved."  Even, "It just doesn't seem right."  It's also OK to enjoy her...we do.  

As you grieve with us we appreciate your prayers: please continue in them for us.  We also appreciate you loving well those who are in your relationship circles.  Take care of each other.

Annie

Tonight I miss her.

A friend shared this song with us by Steven Curtis Chapman.

He knows the words to sing as he too lost a little girl.

Home with 2 Hanks

We have been out of town for a couple weeks.  

Some friends loaned us their RV and we've been on the road. 


A stop in DC to visit Uncle A...

A few days at a great RV campground in Virginia (hot tub included on our site)...

A stop in Kentucky to revisit our Asbury College & Seminary days and to reconnect with some great friends...

 

And a stop in Indiana to see Nanna and Granddad (oops, no pictures).

This is the kind of trip we've always wanted to take and yet it's the trip we never wanted to take.  RVing and exploring has always been on the list of things to do in life.  But each mile was marked with the reminder that the reason for the trip was the tragedy of losing Annie.  

We live in real paradox right now.  Joy & Sorrow, Happiness & Sadness, Plenty & Emptiness...

As we returned home we were reminded of the paradox.  Although we were glad to be heading back to our own beds and our own home, there was part of us that never wanted to return.  But a humorous distraction helped ease our entrance back into life.

While we were away on our "Big Rig" Adventure we kenneled our dog, Hank. It was strange that on one day while we were gone one of our neighbors facebooked us saying something to the effect, "It'll be good to have you guys back. I could hear Hank up early this morning." We didn't think too much of it, kinda just thought it was a little joke or something. Little did we know what lay ahead. As we arrived back in Michigan we picked up Hank at the "Doggy Hotel", giving him a chance to ride in the "big rig". It was weird when we walked into our porch and discovered a new dog bed and a note that said, "I'm out on a walk. Love, Hank". I checked his dog food and it was obvious that it was much less than when we had left.  I called a couple neighbors to find out what was going on--evidently a yellow dog had been at our house for about a week and our friend across the road, Annette, had been taking care of him.  

A few minutes later, she came strolling into our yard with a yellow dog yelling, "Welcome home!". You should have seen her face when I told her that the dog she was walking, and had been walking for a week, was not our Hank.

Here's what we've deduced... A stray dog showed up in our yard last Sunday and someone put him in our porch--assuming he was our dog. Word then travelled to our neighbor Annette that they were supposed to take care of Hank the second week of our absence. She's been walking and feeding "Hank" for a week.  

So we stood in the yard with Annette and these 2 yellow dogs and wondered what we should do. Brainstorm...let's check his collar. We quickly found a phone number on dog #2 and his rightful owners (1/2 a mile away) came, quite relieved that their dog had been found. Annette explained that he had been such a great dog and had come when called so obediently. It made sense when we asked Dog #2's name . . . yep, you guessed it, Hank.  

We're home and life moves on in all its humor and pain, with all its certainty and questions.

166

166 hours ago I was holding our Annie.  She was just two hours from departing this world. 
I can't believe it's been just 166 hours...almost 7 days...barely 1 week.


In that time we've arranged for her beautiful funeral; funeral director, burial clothes, burial plot, outdoor tent procurement, minister, friends, music, memorial fund, family travel & housing...  


Sometimes I just cry.  
Sometimes I have to play my guitar.
Sometime I'm sure I'm going to walk past her bed and see her smiling back at me.


Our Kate has said numerous times, "I'm so happy that Annie is with Jesus.  But when he's finished being with her she can come home."  
Someday she'll realize the truth of the matter and that makes me sad.


Our William has tried to stand stoicly through these days.  He doesn't like the tears associated with Annie's absence.  And yet, thankfully, he's cried too and spoken of his love for his sister.  


Nearly 7 days in this "club"--it's membership dues are too high if you ask me.
Only 7 days...and another 7 starts right away.


*A friend just called...divinely prompted to call us.  Thanks.  We're reminded that we are not alone in this 166th hour.

Every once in a while

When I talk about my kids.
When I share about the support of my wife.
When I talk about the meaning of my friendship with my buddy Troy.
I cry.

And when I speak these things in front of my church, well I cry then too.

I cried Sunday as I watched a guy named Marty stand at the altar and worship God with his hands raised.  I cried Sunday as I shared with the church the heaviness I feel in ministry and the inadequacy that exists in me.
I cried Sunday when my wife stood next to me and squeezed my hand in support and love.

I am not the "weeping pastor" but when I cry, you know it.  It's not just some misty eyed moment.  It's drippy. 

I value my wife, my kids, my friend and my church.  They are to me the Aaron and Hur as I feel, on a small scale, the weight and role of Moses.  I believe God is leading our church in ways like I've not noticed in the past 5 years.  There is a good land (even a promised one) ahead of us.  But man, it's a struggle.

We go together.

My amazing family

Early Edition

In college I knew a guy who received free shoes from Nike. He'd get them well in advance of the public and get to simply wear them around to see how they felt, held up and, I guess, see how other people responded to them. As a shoe loving college student who was living on a shoestring, pun intended, I wanted in on that action! But alas...no.

But this all changed when I (and several thousand others) we able to buy an advance copy of a book by Chip & Dan Heath. Willow Creek was able to secure advance copies of their latest book, Switch, for those who attended the Leadership Summit. The book will be released in the spring of 2010 but I have already read it. They've asked that we not blog, teach, or quote from the book until January. I'm being careful to honor that request. Although last Sunday I wanted to use some of it in my sermon. It's cool to have read a pre-release book but even more is the timing. It's helping me visualize how we might be able to make a Switch in some areas at our church.

It's on my heart to lead in a particular direction in our church. Thom Rainer and Eric Geiger categorize pastors in 2 ways in their book Simple Church; a programmer or a designer. I am living the prior but aiming toward the latter. It's going to take a Switch. Church can program for discipleship or can move people in a discipleship process. We currently practice the former but will be moving toward the latter.

I believe my passions started pointing this way about 6 years ago. In my small office at Faith Community Church, Osceola, Indiana, I wrote down a one word description of making disciples. I didn't do anything with it except type it and stick it in a desk drawer. (Sounds about right for a pastor.) I moved that piece of paper and it's lived in my desk over the past 5 years in Michigan. The book 7 Practices of Effective Ministry fired me up about what church could be and look like. Follow that with 3 Big Questions for the Franctic Family, some podcasts, prayer and journaling and baboom...there's a flame inside. That piece of paper is part of a collage of stuff I'm compiling in this process of understanding change and how to shape the environment around people so that they will be apt to change.

The board of our church has already heard my heart.
It's coming soon to other leaders and the full congregation.
I'm excited about our church.
There are some crazy events happening in our area that we have to engage--some people know what I'm talking about already--but we will still get there.

Food for the Masses

Every time we've hosted our Free Food Giveaway there's a gnawing feeling in my gut where I think, "Are people going to show up? If they don't what do we do with all this food? Will there be enough volunteers?..."

I'm grateful to the 40+ volunteers who gave their time and energy to set up, distribute and clean up. It's humbling to have helped serve 191 families (representing 793 individuals) free groceries and a New Testament.

Thanks to the Food Bank of Eastern Michigan and to my friends who volunteered.

May God's kingdom come in North Branch as it is in heaven.

Food Warm Up

In just hours a truck will arrive @ NBWC and leave us with 12 pallets of food (10,000 lbs.). We'll have two hours to sort it, count it and set it up. At 6 we'll (hopefully) give it all away--free. We expect to have about 175 family units show up, which represents around 600 individuals. It has been incredible for our church and for individuals to experience this event.

The calls have been coming into the office in large numbers inquiring about the event. We are expecting it to be a busy afternoon.

I can't say enough about the volunteers who take part in this. 40+ people will give of their time (and take personal time off work) in order to be at the church early and stay late cleaning up. Remarkable. Thanks everyone, in advance.

I'm getting warmed up...I'll let you know how things go after we've served.

Unplanned

My past few sermons have surprised me. The process of writing a sermon, although laborious, is typically pretty cool for me. But lately what I've found it that I've planned to give some lighthearted sermons with somewhat predictable endings but have instead ended up going way deeper than I though I would. (Now I know I should always be willing to go deeper but I wasn't going to, ok.)

For instance, I was going to preach on the beauty of having a break--and the plan was to talk about the beauty and responsibility of a summer break. Instead the sermon was a totall indepth look at Sabbath, the old covenant, the new covenant and how it relates to us today.

Last week I preached on God is Fortress (using the OnePrayer focus) and found myself going in directions I hadn't planned.

Tomorrow I'm preaching on the Providence of God. What?! Yes, the providence of God--his ability to economize our world based on his design, story and purposed. Totally didn't plan to preach this. The "plan" was to preach on God is Provider (again a OnePrayer theme). I was going to try to encourage our Michigan congregation to trust in God and be encouraged in tough economic times (blah, blah, blah). And now I am so glad to go deeper and lead people deeper.

Another beauty in all this is how cool it's been to read large chunks of scripture, theology and church history. I'm re-learning and learning for the first time perhaps some great stuff about God.

So there you go.
If my church podcasted you could listen online.
If you go to my church...see you soon.

Sometimes they are difficult

This morning's church experience was difficult. 

I'm processing why and what and who and everything.

Our Sunday School class is tacking difficult topics.  It challenges our values and beliefs.  It's tough. Our Worship Team and Tech Team do an amazing job week after week but there were a couple glitches today that were noticed---at least by me.

Summers in Michigan...wow, two words, "Up North".  Attendance and Momentum are drastically impacted by the desire by people to have a summer break.

My sermon.  Hmm, definitely not one of my top ten.  (I am grateful God speaks through his Word and by his Spirit and not only through the voice of mere mortals.)

I know some Sundays are flat, I get that.  But that doesn't negate the funk I feel when they occur.  

Lord willing and the creek don't rise I'll give my all again next Sunday.

And so now, an Ale-8-One

2 x 10,000

Last night our church participated in our second free food giveaway. For a fraction of what it would cost in a grocery store we purchase approximately 10,000 lbs. of food and give it away...free. The Food Bank of Eastern Michigan (fbem.org) is the agency supplying the goods. We purchase a truck of food through them, they deliver the food and from then on we manage the outreach event.

It is an overwhelming experience. As the leader of our church I'm overwhelmed to see the number of people who have responded to serve. The volunteers are just awesome.

It is overwhelming to come in contact with the 120+ people (representing 500+ family members) who arrived to receive food. Everyone left with a pile of food, loads of smiles and a free Bible.

I told several recipients, following their words of thanks, that we are glad to help in any way we can and that "we are in this together". I hope they know that we mean it.

Our next free food giveaway is scheduled for Thursday, July 16 @ 6 PM.