Tuesday, September 21, 2010

one year. reflections with sorrow

Sunday Sarah and I shared with our church some of our reflection of this past year with sorrow.  I love that she and I were able to do this together.  It was good for me to have her next to me.  

Here's a copy of what we shared.
Text.  (Some of this won't make sense to you if you read it.  But it works for me when I preach.)

As difficult as it is at times to share our sorrow with other people and allow them into the story with us, I believe it is so important for us (and others) to do so.  So we talked.  And we cried, some.  I think I would have been a weepy mess were it not for Sarah sitting next to me.  I felt solid with her there.

Sarah, William, Kate & I are spending the entire day together tomorrow. 
Tomorrow marks 1 year since Annie died. 

Getting to tomorrow has been difficult for me.  The past couple weeks have been sad ones.  I've felt like I have been more sad -- or sad in an entirely different way -- than when we first lost Annie.  It has certainly been hard for me.

But life keeps clipping along.
Here is how strange our life is.  On the day we commemorate the anniversary of our daughter we are preparing for our new baby.  We plan to spend some time at Barnes&Noble tomorrow so William and Kate can buy new books for their coming sister.  It's crazy.

But stuff like that has been the story of this entire year.  As sad as we have been we have been blessed to have our kids around us.  They have literally kept us moving.

Thanks to all who have been with us this past year.  Thank you for praying for us and loving us.

Thank you for loving Annie.
I love her too.

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
       he rises to show you compassion.
       For the LORD is a God of justice.
       Blessed are all who wait for him!"
Isaiah 30:18


Juli Jarvis said...

Praying for all of you at this time -- so difficult, I know. You have encouraged a lot of other people this year -- may He bless your special day together too --

Anonymous said...

Your message on Sunday was powerful. Thank you for being real and honest. We love your family. We continue to lift you up in prayer. The pictures you have posted are precious. Annie's beauty is so evident. Thinking of her tonight, and all of you. Much love, the Baksa's

Anonymous said...

Love the pictures....such a cutie. Your faith has encouraged many. Always in our prayers. Love, The Tedford(Rocky & Lori)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting these absolutely beautiful photos. They jog many great memories and moments -you guys are great at capturing good pics! Our hearts & minds have been with you--especially today/tonight.
Love you~Knickerbocker's

Lori said...

Just wanted to let you know we've been thinking about you and the emotions that you've been going through as you still (and always) mourn your sweet Annie Jane and yet bravely and joyfully prepare for her precious new little sister...we lift all of our sweet friends from that weekend up, but understand how convoluted grief can be in the light of such hope at the same time. I think your words were right--it's crazy.

But we are thankful, thankful, thankful for the grace of God that allows us to survive it.
Sending you lots of love,
John and Lori

Anonymous said...

I'm just now posting here re: your reflections on grief sermon AND now your last hours with Annie poem. Both are SO great. You are such a special friend. I love your honesty and authenticity. You are an example to me. Your poem took me back to those hours on Monday with you and Sarah AND Nov. 4 with my dad - sitting there in the same room with him as "eternity robbed his mortality." Love those words.
Blessings, Chris

Anonymous said...


Thank you so much for sharing...even though I didn't get to "see" the sermon...I felt like I was there as I listened to you and Sarah sharing. I want you to know that I could see joy beaming from you that week after you shared! Not your normal smiley self...but a peace about you that I hadn't seen in the office for a while. It was a great way to end out my time at NBWC! I will always cherish those 18 months of my life and consider it a part of my walk with the Lord to walk with you and your family in that journey. You will always be in my heart! Thanks for being a Great Boss!! Blessings...Tammy